So being clueless and controlled by these things, finally I took up a step and went for it. Hope all goes well. Isn't the best time of my life but prolonging would mean escaping from reality. There's been too many times that I've done this. Being afraid of the reality, the truth, and for myself.
How many times does one need to see fear before her in the mirror everyday? I've seen enough and for once, just get over it. What ifs... There are too many of them in this world. If things happen for the worse, there is another end that will be receiving it's best.
It gets tiring when you live in uncertainty where life lies in guessing. Don't be offended, I mean it in the way where you need to guess what will keep you alive. As Murakami said in his work,"Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it" every breath is to keep you alive but at the same time, in every breath there you are, a breath nearer to death. So as I guess what will keep me living, it also occurs to me that it is that that will keep me from living. Life, has it's own dynamic.
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